ASK THE EXPERT - April 2018

Note: Dear parents, Thank you for sending in your queries. Some of the queries put up by you were not related to children's emotional and behavioural problems but about admissions and results. Please note that this page does not address such questions. Some of you have also sent incomplete queries, with one or two word sentences, such as ‘rude behaviour', ‘happiness' and ‘aggression', which are difficult to respond to, as there is no explanation or description given about how the problem has started, what you find difficult to manage as a parent etc. The more descriptive the problem is, the better we would be able to respond to it.

Thank you

1. My child is not happy for going school.

Gender: Male Age: 6 to 8 Category: Others (General)

Response: The information you have provided is insufficient to guide you. Is this a recent change in his behaviour? Has he shifted his school, has a new teacher or are there some other circumstances at home that may be causing him to feel unhappy? Understanding these circumstances as well as having more information about the child will help us provide you a better understanding.

2. My daughter is very agressive and always feel like that im not paying attention towards her im a single parent working women plus have number of health issues i dont understand how to manage this issue.

Gender: Female Age: 14 to 18 Category: Behavioural Issues & Adolescent Development Issues

Response: Talk to her about your concerns and let her know about your worries related to her behaviour in an open and calm manner. Allow her the opportunity to share what she misses the most and encourage her to suggest ways by which she thinks that the two of you can spend better quality time, keeping mind your work commitments and health considerations.

It is also important to keep in mind that your daughter is going through the adolescent phase, which may also be contributing towards your daughter's behaviour. During the adolescent age (roughly starting around ten years and above), many children go through a series of normal emotional, physical and social changes. As a result of these changes there is increased sensitivity and impulsiveness, more interest in peers, less interest in spending time with family and adults, differences in opinion and frequent arguments with adults and a need to exert their own individuality and identity etc. The adolescent period can be overwhelming for adolescents, especially if they lack correct information about the changes that they are experiencing or/and if they feel that there is no one that they can communicate with. It might help if you talk to your daughter in an open and friendly manner about these changes too. Validate and normalize her feelings and let her know that she can talk to you if there is something bothering her or if she has any questions related to growing up. By communicating openly, you will be giving her an opportunity to discuss and share with you in case she is bothered about something and going through a difficult time.

3. I am having a student in my class who is always arrogant and he don't participates in class discussion. He is also a bit rude with every teacher.

Gender: Male Age: 6 to 8 Category: Behavioural Issues

Response: There are many possible reasons behind children's apparent misbehaviour and finding that out can be very helpful in dealing with the behaviour accordingly. For example, is the child shy and his reaction comes as arrogant? or is the child unable to understand or learn and comes across as rude? Or is he preoccupied by something happening in his life? It may help if you separately ask the child about his learning needs and issues. Remember that he is still very young and still learning to manage his emotions and communicate effectively. Thus, your encouragement and praise, when he does behave positively can also be very helpful in managing this behavior.

4. My son is in clss KG, he has heart blockage and is on pacemaker. He is needed to be kept away from physical injuries. I wonder in such scenarios, how APSAC can facilitate us.

Gender: Male Age: 3 to 5 Category: Other (General)

Response: Have you spoken directly with the school administration and what has their response been? We encourage you to do so as your first line of communication or speak with the formation responsible for the school's administration and management. All the best! .

5. New in the system. Moreover new arrival in City from rural area. Unable to understand any thing in school during class.

Gender: Male Age: 9 to 13 Category: Other (General)

Response: A change can sometimes be daunting and takes time to adjust with. We encourage you to share your learning challenges and needs with the class teachers so that they can help you settle down. It may also help if you seek support from your class fellows in getting a better understanding of the school culture and system. Good luck!.