ASK THE EXPERT - June,July 2017

Note: Dear parents, Thank you for sending in your queries. Some of the queries put up by you were not related to children's emotional and behavioural problems but about admissions and results. Please note that this page does not address such questions. Some of you have also sent incomplete queries, with one or two word sentences, such as ‘rude behaviour', ‘happiness' and ‘aggression', which are difficult to respond to, as there is no explanation or description given about how the problem has started, what you find difficult to manage as a parent etc. The more descriptive the problem is, the better we would be able to respond to it.

Thank you

1. My child is very intellignt he picks very early and his concepts are very clear.he is very good in all subjects especialy in mental maths .teachers have only one complain that he is very naughty and talktive. is it because he understands the things early .what should i do or teachers do to keep him busy.because he learns in a very short time and seems to be bore of studies.

Gender: Male Age: 9 to 13 Category: Behavioural Issues

Response: Are the complaints only coming from the school or do you also have an issue managing him? Teachers can certainly keep him busy by giving him an extra fun task to do while others finish theirs or help the teacher by collecting the copies or erasing the board etc. This needs to be done in a way that the child feels excited about the tasks and not sees it as some form of punishment. In addition the teacher or you can also talk to him about this behaviour and ask him for suggestions about what he can do after completing his class work that will be fun and at the same time will not create disturbance in the class. Involving him in managing his own behaviour will give your child a sense of empowerment. Make sure that you and the teacher appreciate him when you see a change in his behaviour.

2. My child spends lot of time using net on laptop and dont obey me.

Gender: Male Age: 9 to 13 Category: Behavioural Issues

Response: This is a common concern of many parents these days and is an important one to address since time spent using electronic gadgets takes children away from playing, exercise, family time, etc.

You can try setting a daily routine for the child after he comes back from school. Involve the child in making this routine and ensure that it includes some other form of play besides online games. Limit his access to online games and set an acceptable time every day or certain days per week. You need to also review the type of online games he plays, websites he visits, to make sure that they are age appropriate and let him clearly know which games he can play, sites he can visit and which he can not. Time for physical activity, studies, sleep etc. should also be built into this routine. Initially you may also have to take part in the play and physical activities to encourage your child and make this fun for him. If he refuses to play outside or study, let him clearly know that he will still not be allowed to go online and can do something else as alternative. Involve him in choosing other activities besides the games.

This is a habit-forming time for your child and he may initially resist but if you remain consistent, respectful and firm in the efforts, he will get used to the new routine. Appreciate him when he makes the changes.

3. I'm concerned to my kid's mental health regarding his studies. He does not study when necessary instead when he desires. It is difficult to force him to a specific time table. Is this fine for a child of 4 years to show such behaviour? Another thing is that he becomes tired very soon when he sits for homework. How his Lack of interest can be overcome?

Gender: Male Age: 3 to 5 Category: Concentration, Attention and Learning Issues

Response: He is still young and learning self-control and discipline and thus it would be to soon to label him with anything and jump to a conclusion. Its always good to have a time table for children but make sure its age-appropriate and not requiring the child to sit for too long at a stretch and at a time when he is distracted by his surroundings or is sleepy.

nsure that he gets ample sleep and that learning is made fun and interactive for him. Children this age learn the best through play and games so use these opportunities to teach him. If you need him to sit and focus on a task, make sure you do it when he is very fresh and there is very little distraction in the room where he sits to work. Children of this age are also learning self-control and thus can react negatively when they don't get what they want. However, it is important to teach them to wait their turn, or that they will get to play a bit later once they finish what they are doing first, etc. I hope you find these tips useful.


4. Not studying well.

Gender: Male Age: 9 to13 Category: Others

Response: The information provided is insufficient to guide you. We would need to know if the inability to study well is some recent change or if the child has had these problems since the beginning of his studies? Is he unable to understand concepts, not pay attention, both or any other issue with the learning?

5. Aoa I'm a student of class 9th my teachers always beat students in my class and when ever we complain our section head about that she also abuse us without any serious reason due to this many children are being bullied as no one listens to their complaint not even our parents complaints are taken seriously .

Gender: Male Age: 14 to 18 Category: Grief, Trauma and Abuse

Response: We are deeply concerned about the physical abuse that you are referring to. Please note that the APSACS system takes these concerns very seriously. Beating of any sort and form is unacceptable and schools have been strictly asked to refrain from it. Have your parents or those of other students gone together as a group to complain? This may give more weightage to your concerns. If the principal still does not take the concerns seriously then the formation managing the school can be informed about these incidents. Your concerns are also being forwarded to the concerned authorities within the secretariat so that these can be followed up with the school directly. Please write again if the problem does not get resolved.