ASK THE EXPERT - January - February 2017

Note: Dear parents, Thank you for sending in your queries. Some of the queries put up by you were not related to children's emotional and behavioural problems but about admissions and results. Please note that this page does not address such questions. Some of you have also sent incomplete queries, with one or two word sentences, such as ‘rude behaviour', ‘happiness' and ‘aggression', which are difficult to respond to, as there is no explanation or description given about how the problem has started, what you find difficult to manage as a parent etc. The more descriptive the problem is, the better we would be able to respond to it.

Thank you

1. How to built confidence of child?

Gender: Male Age: 3 to 5 Category: Lack of Confidence and Shy

Response: Are you having any specific issue in terms of your child's confidence? Shyness and lack of confidence are also natural at this age and can be improved by providing children with love, respect, appreciation and opportunities to play and explore new things in a safe environment. At this age children are learning to be independent and have a strong desire to do things on their own. Thus allowing children some level of choices is very important.

2. The student of 8th class try to commit suicide due to coming less marks. He beats and injures himself.he is isolated wants to live in isolation.what is the reason of it and how we can over come...

Gender: Female Age: 9 to 13 Category: Others

Response: I would encourage you to talk to the parents of this child and suggest mental health assistance for her. Many children experience anxiety or distress due to exams and other similar issues. However, some due to either extreme external pressures or/and their own biological and personality make up, end up experiencing more challenges. Suicidal attempt and self-harm require proper assessment and treatment as handling this alone maybe beyond your expertise and role as a teacher. These can be signs of clinical depression. You can certainly provide support by listening to her concerns and remaining nonjudgmental. However, the best way forward for her is mental health support.

3. My child is 8 years and 5 months. He has vitiligo (burs) on hand and foots. Because of this he is very sensitive and loosing confidence. He does not participate in class activities actively. We want to boost his confidence so as to succeed in coming life. very often i ask teacher to plz help him out in class by his participation in class activities but think she has no time for extra attention. seeking your good advise. Regards.

Gender:Male Age: 9 to 13 Category:
Lack of Confidence and Shy

Response: I think giving him a bit of encouragement at school, ensuring that he has space to participate in class activities, has a set of friends will all be useful in helping him become more confident. Do request the teachers again. It will also be important to ensure that he is not made fun of or bullied due to his condition. While the teachers and school can play a major role, I would also encourage you to help your child in feeling less shy. For example, here are some of things you can do:

  • Ask him about his friends in class and invite some of them and their mothers over so he can play and interact with them
  • Help him think of ways by which he can make friends, if that is an issue for him
  • Explore how he feels about his appearance and body. Let him share his fear and thoughts. If it helps explore his thoughts and feelings through drawings and stories about children who have similar condition and what they might be thinking or challenges they experience. Once you understand his fears, you can address these.
  • Make sure you validate his feeling and at the same time tell him that the differences do not make him any less and that he is like any other boy this age.
  • Ensure that his sibling or anyone at home does not make fun of him.

4. A kid. This Monday teacher took our exam computer practical first I opened a excel file but I didn't done. The correct formula so I opened new file when the teacher saw the first file she thought that I've cheated and she said angrily that I will go 10/25 or 15/25 marks please talk with my teacher.

Gender: Female Age: 9 to 13 Category: Others

Response: Thank you for seeking support through the ‘Ask The Expert' page. The misunderstanding between you and your teacher seems to be upsetting you. We suggest that the best way to resolve the matter is by talking to her separately and explaining your point of view. The teacher may have gotten upset at that time and might now be open to another possible explanation for why two excel files were open at the same time. Another option could be to involve your parents or talk to your section head if you feel that the teacher would not listen. Best of luck!

5. He doesn't sit in class.every teacher complain that he habitual of roaming outside. He is 11 years old and in grade 7.having weak eyesight. Good in studies,comes in first three positions but doesn't pay full attention in class.quickly fed up.

Gender: Male Age: 9 to 13 Category: Lack of Concentration, Attention and Learning

Response: Some children have more challenges than others in paying attention to tasks especially studies or sitting still. Seat him close to where you can maintain a better eye contact with him and where he will be less distracted. Break his main task into smaller tasks so that he can understand them better and is also not distracted. Let him know how much time he is required to remain seated and what he can do once he finishes his work, which will help as an incentive. Since his need to move around is more than that of others, you can give him an additional task that requires a bit of movement that he can focus on once he is done with his work. The link pasted here may also provide you with some additional tips.

All the best!